Thursday, August 13, 2009
A little background info on my VBA2C journey...
My C-Section Births:
For my first pregnancy, I basically trusted the medical doctors in all my prenatal care and never imagined that I would end up with a c-section. Late one night I heard a "pop" and felt a gush of liquid only to realize that it wasnn't my water breaking, but blood. I was admitted into the hospital and induced with pitocin. Because I didn't know any better about the risks involved, I surrendered all my trust and felt that I was in good hands. I asked for an epidural right away. I was checked and found to be 6 centimeters and later told that they made a mistake and I was only a 4. They also felt that I wasn't progressing and my baby was in distress, so they decided a c-section was best.
It took them well over an hour to prepare the OR. If it was so important to get my baby out, why such a long time to prepare the room? After I was cut and my son was born, they found a 15% tear in my placenta... the cause of my bleeding. Still plenty of oxygen going to my son.
I didn't see my son come out and caught a small glimpse of him. 4 hours later, I was able to finally see him. Extremely hard to bond with him. Took me days to get him to latch on. Was that c-section really necessary? I will never know.
My second pregnancy, I started my care thinking VBAC all the way. I did a little research and found what seemed like zero to no positive VBAC stories/research. Everything out there just pointed at the risks. I naturally was scared and when I asked my doctor if a VBAC was allowed, she said yes. I asked her how risky it was, and she said I can have a VBAC, but didn't calm any of my fears and therefore I decided a csection was best. Her scheduled csection on February 23, 2006 went well. I was able to breastfeed right away and was able to bond much sooner than I did with my son Benjamin.
I was actually ok with having csections. It wasn't until my naturopathic doctor kinda insulted me when she said that I didn't give "birth" to my children. I started thinking about it and although I completely disagree with her approach, I realized that she was right. I didn't stress out about it... but I was bummed thinking that I probably would never experience a natural birth.